About 25 years ago my husband and I made a Marriage
Encounter weekend. One of the concepts that is basic to a
successful marriage, we were told, was to realize that Love is
NOT a feeling, it is a CHOICE! You don’t fall out of or into love,
you choose to love—and sometimes that takes a lot of work,
as most happily married couples can attest! You don’t always
“feel” loving, as a matter of fact, many times you want to say,
“why bother?”! But you don’t give up! You plug along, communicate, pray, eat crow, forgive, pray, show compassion and
understanding, pray, and choose to keep loving, in spite of and
despite the cost—and continue to pray. And you eventually
come out on the happily married side! Thanks be to God!

Well, I have discovered in my many years of life, that Forgiveness too is a decision, not a feeling. It is not easy to forgive
when you have been deeply hurt…when someone says something or does something or refuses to do something. You want
to get revenge, scream, ignore, tell them off, spread rumors,
not speak to them. The last thing you want to think about is
forgiving them! “How can anyone ask me to forgive them!”
Whether it’s your boss, or your spouse, or your child, or your
neighbor, or some faceless Facebook entity! You just don’t feel
like or want to forgive them! And that’s where choice comes in.
Holding on to the hurt and anger doesn’t hurt them, it actually
hurts you! It hardens up your heart and blocks your spirit. They
may even be oblivious to your feelings or have moved on to a
new relationship already. And again, that is where choice
comes in. Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. We have to
pray and ask God to fill our heart with forgiveness. He is with
us, holding us close to His heart. With His help, we can
“choose” to forgive. We won’t “feel” forgiveness right away,
maybe not for a long time even. But eventually, we will recognize that the hurt or anger that we felt is not as strong. God
does not ask us to stay in the hurtful situation, just to forgive
the “hurter”. Besides, how can we ever see the good things
that He has ahead for us if we are constantly looking back at
the pain we have endured.

He wants us to forgive and forget. And He forgives and forgets our sins constantly. He does it gladly, with no regrets, ALL
THE TIME! Yes, I know, He is God and Perfect—but let us
CHOOSE to emulate His love for US by following HIS example! Forgiveness and Love are DECISIONS worth making and
working toward! Pray about it…talk to Your Father about your
decision! It’s not easy and you will have to continue to say, “I
forgive you.” Pray some more and choose to forgive…choose
to love! You will “feel” so much happier! After all, the person
whom you are angry with is also a child of God…and God loves
you both unconditionally! Choose to unite your will with His!

Have a blessed week!